Good Grief

In first grade, I chose a book in class, sat down alone and began to read. It was some Snoopy book, and I remember the red dog house. And actually, I don't remember reading, but instead just looking at the pictures. At some point, the teacher asked us all to talk about what our book was "about." When it came to my turn, I remember crying in frustration because I couldn't recall anything about the story. I remember is was 62 pages, and too long to actually "read" at my age.



To this day, perhaps because of this, I count how many pages are in every chapter of reading I have to do. Perhaps to make sure I can get through it? But going back through Peanuts in general, I most identify with Charlie Brown, who like C-3PO, always has it kind of rough.

C-3PO: We were made to suffer. It's our lot in life.
Charlie Brown: Good grief.

Doing a little research, Charles Schultz's preoccupation was with unrequited love, which he portrayed through Charlie Brown's pursuance and rejection by the "little red head girl." In high school, I had a similar relationship with a "little read head girl," who's last name happened to be "Brown." Good grief.



Looking at the patterns, what I notice is the wave, the undulation between the desert scene and the motif on Charlie Brown's shirt. Now that I've picked up on this, I also remember this pattern from the afghan blanket from my haiku.

Awe and Desert(ed) Droids

sleepy on the couch
under a yellow afghan
droids on wavy dunes

When I was 7ish, I remember waking up before my parents, turning on the TV, and laying on the couch with a yellow afghan blanket. The only thing I ever remember watching this is Star Wars, specifically on HBO (I remember the HBO intro)...and then only the early parts where R2 and C3P-O escape and land on Tatooine. Specifically, I remember them wandering the desert, with the large dragon skeleton in the background of waving sand dunes.



Having now seen the movie a million times, I know the plot intricately well. While I'd "like" to identify with Han Solo, or even R2, I can tell that I do identify with C3P-O, a hapless people-pleaser who get's sucked into situations and worries too much about them. And, this photo reminds me that the droids aren't always together...C-3PO goes off and does is own thing out of defiance, only to regret it later...this is a pattern that I notice that I do as well.

Shock and Awe

When I was 6, I remember playing outside in the backyard. It was a sunny day in Florida, so it could have been any time of year. Although I don’t remember the air being particularly hot, the sun was fairly intense. I was playing at some kind of space exploration, and I was ready to move back inside the safety of the spaceship, which must have been the house, for I went toward the sliding glass door. I remember its bright aluminum/steel frame, the concrete pad in front of it, and the step up onto the house’s foundation. Before reaching for the handle, which I think was wood grain--although it could have easily been black vinyl or metal--I had to insert the special key into the access panel. I opened the cover to the panel box, and inserted my key and ATTACK! I think I was hit with a ray gun, but quickly realized that the access panel (an outdoor electrical socket) must have malfunctioned. Somehow I opened the door, and got inside anyway.



I went straight for my mother, looked up at her crying, and told her about the shock that I had just received. I remember having difficulty breathing. She, with a twinge of annoyance, answered something to the effect of: “well what did you expect would happen?”

Mood/Atmosphere: One of shock and awe…I had just learned something about electricity (not sure what I knew before), as well as a new dimension of my mother, something like indifference combined with anger at my stupidity. I now knew that I could do wrong. Moreover, while my initial mood seemed to be playful and innocent, I was shocked into awe and discovered my imagination could get me hertz (epiphany).